The Christmas Miracle Of Hamburg… Once Haughty Der Spiegel Now Says Rural Conservative America Is “Fantastic!”

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It all happened in only a matter of hours, without any management overhaul, comprehensive restructuring or total management-instituted culture change within its newsroom: Influential German leftist news giant Der Spiegel went from a rural-America-loathing metropolitan media outlet to a humbled institution who suddenly loved the American heartland people and today is begging for forgiveness and a chance to make good.

Background here.

Original image cropped here, RETRO POWER Full Classic Movies.

This is nothing short of a Christmas miracle

Just days ago the Hamburg-based hotbed of leftist journalists had regarded rural conservative Americans as unsophisticated, uneducated. white-angry yahoos who drove gas-guzzling pickups, brandished guns, were religious, Creationist, toothless, denied climate change, shopped at Walmart, wore sleeveless shirts and guzzled disgustingly cheap beer from cans – cultural and intellectual Neanderthals in Spiegel’s eyes.

These malicious insults were heard on a daily basis from the snobby, elitist German mainstream media, among them Spiegel – so much so that today common Germans routinely repeat the slurs (even though many have never been to the country).

So what suddenly happened at Der Spiegel? How did rural America go from this to “fantastic”!

This is the Christmas Miracle of Hamburg, the cosmopolitan German city where Der Spiegel is based.

The Spirit of Jayson Blair

It seems the Spirit of Jayson Blair paid recently a late evening visit and warned Der Spiegel that – beginning at midnight – three ghosts would visit and show the snobby news outlet that it too was forging its own chain, link by link, and was well on its way to suffering Blair’s fake news fate. And this could only be averted if rapid change of heart took place in its editorial rooms: “When I lived, my spirit like yours never walked beyond the narrow limits of our newshouse…objective journalism should be our business, Der Spiegel, but we seldom attend to it, as you shall see!”

Years of slander

Then at the stroke of midnight the Ghost of the Past appeared and showed what the awful, one-sided journalism Der Spiegel had practiced over the years, maliciously slandering rural Americans and their values. Der Spiegel looked on in horror.

Then at 1 a.m. came the Ghost of the Present, which showed Der Spiegel how the public was perceiving and ridiculing them as the Lügenpresse, and what a lowlife media outlet the leftist cosmopolitan magazine had become: “Der Spiegel! The sins of the media are huge. A never ending symphony of villainy, infamy, duplicity, deceit and subterfuge. And no one is worse than Der Spiegel,” the Ghost of the Present thundered!

Next came the deathly Ghost of the Future, which showed that unless Spiegel changed, the Hamburg-based Conservative-America-bashing magazine would soon find its name engraved on a tombstone and would be forever damned.

Rural America is “fantastic”

Terrified by these shocking visions, Spiegel editors awoke trembling the very next morning, humbled and totally transformed, and pledging to make good.

They immediately traveled out to rural America Fergus Falls to deliver the most imaginably sincere and humble apology for their earlier trashing of these good people. They took an oath to be more respectful, and assured they in fact loved Trump-voting rural America and declared how much they really admired all the Tiny Tim Americans. Spiegel called Fergus Falls “fantastic”.

All of it happened overnight. And for those who know Spiegel and the mainstream German media culture, it is nothing short of a Christmas miracle.

But just how long will this miraculous self-redemption last? Is it really a genuine transformation, or is it just more Relotius-quality fake reporting by Spiegel? We will see.

Also check out this Twitter thread (hat-tip: Roger Pielke Jr.): https://twitter.com/MKarnitschnig/status/1075692917719777280

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8 responses to “The Christmas Miracle Of Hamburg… Once Haughty Der Spiegel Now Says Rural Conservative America Is “Fantastic!””

  1. Kurt in Switzerland

    But just how long will this miraculous self-redemption last?

    Nary a fortnight.

    1. rah

      Agreed. They are who they are and it will be impossible to mask it for long.

  2. Almost Everything Progressives Believe is a False Narrative or Fake News; They Even Get Awards for Making Things Up – CO2 is Life

    […] Years of slander (Source) […]

  3. sasquatch

    Somedays, I wish I were a neanderthal instead of a bigfoot.
    lol

    Minnesota is too liberal to be filled with drunken uneducated redneck hillbillies who kick ass and take names afterwards, shoot first, ask questions later.

    You have to go to Illinois or Iowa to find those. lol

    Actually, I prefer the unfavorable depiction of American midwesterners.

    You can’t operate a Chon Deere tractor or combine if you can’t read. You have to be an educated person to manage an agricultural operation. Cow colleges are there for a reason. The Texas Aggies have a place in this world.

    Milking cows by hand is not going to pay. Your hands need to be able to make sure an operation can be maintained and be able to write things down, have a record, a memory. Reading and writing demand comprehension, competence, somebody who can’t read and won’t might be a problem.

    A brand new DeLaval volunteer robotic milking machine works wonders in this post-modern world. Milking by hand is obsolete unless you are a milkmaid in Denmark. har

    Always good to know what works the best. DeLaval will be taken aback if you can’t read.

    No such thing as fake farming, it is do or die. The bottom line rules.

    Once you plant, the bread and butter, you are going to harvest, that’s the gravy. It is a no brainer, you work to make it happen.

    It won’t happen any other way.

    Die Lugenpresse in Germany would be surprised to learn that the Non-Partisan League originated in the middle of America. The non-partisans were those politically-minded folk who sympathized with members of the Socialist Party, the socialists. The socialists referred to them as non-partisans, weren’t really Democrat, weren’t really Republican, but definitely not socialist.

    There were plenty of Industrial Workers of the World not working during the Great Depression. The IWW, also known as ‘I Won’t Work’, the words used by the farmers during the Great Depression, were running around all over the place back then.

    Plenty of communists roaming around America back then during the Great Depression. Mother Bloor was one of them and married a crazed communist from my home town. Woody Guthrie sang songs about it all, another heathen communist.

    During the Great Depression, 35 American cities elected socialists to the mayorships. In my home state, one county elected a socialist for Sheriff.

    Facts no one needs to know. Too much progressivism in the American Midwest, those idiots must be defined as a bunch of goofy beer drinkers, rednecks with no clue. Hilarious.

    Der Spiegel is out to lunch in left field.

    They need to remain in the dark, they’re better off.

  4. John F. Hultquist

    Well done.
    And throughout the year too!

    ~~~ The good folks of Fergus Falls should get “before & after” prints of the stories from Der Spiegel and with hunting knives, tack them to the 6″ oak planks of the swinging doors of the saloon.

    Had a friend that lived just outside FF, off grid so-to-speak. Only cold running water inside. Outside potty. He was about 80 at the time, and we were 25. That was 50 years ago.

    2nd ps: About 50 miles SW of FF is the north-to-south Continental Divide. Lots of ex-glacial landscape in the area.

    1. Yonason

      I tried looking up F.F. and I found this article on fishing there.
      https://www.fergusfallsjournal.com/2017/03/2017s-favorite-fishing-trips/

      Being easily distracted, I looked at the fish, and asked myself “Is that a pickerel or a pike,” and decided it was a pickerel because I thought pike were bigger.

      (NOTE: My very first thought was “perch,” but dismissed that because the perch I used to catch were smaller, though the color is the same. Proves what they say, always go with your first answer; …that is if this next link is correct.)

      https://www.reference.com/pets-animals/difference-between-walleye-pickerel-2e090ff31a1e2d1c

      “One difference between a walleye (what the F.F. article called it) and a pickerel is that a walleye is a member of the perch family, and a pickerel is a type of pike.”

      …but is it?! Not according to this…

      http://www.differencebetween.net/object/comparisons-of-food-items/difference-between-walleye-and-pickerel/

      “A walleye is sometimes called a pickerel, particularly in English-speaking parts of Canada, but in fact, the walleye and the pickerel are not at all related. However, both are members of the same family, the pike family or Esocidae.”

      Nowhere is perch even mentioned in that article. But, if it’s in the “same family,” how are they not related?

      Looks like I’m still in a quandary as to what that fish really is.

      Still, I was wrong. Yet while I was wrong, I was also sorta right, if my being no more wrong than others who catch these things all the time is sufficient. So, actually it’s probably more accurate to say that I was wrong for the right reasons, and “right” for the wrong reasons.

      But regardless, the bottom line is, as always in these matters, am I in compliance with whatever the game warden says is the legal size and limit for whatever HE calls it?

      Truth be told, while it isn’t a pickerel and certainly not a mackerel, catching a fish like that probably isn’t a miracle, but it’s probably a fun and productive way to spend one’s day.

      So John, if you fish, I hope you catch a lot, and that they’re good eating, whatever you call ’em. Just watch out for the game warden. //:-o)

      ===========================

      Addendum

      Looks like pike don’t have that forward spiky dorsal fin.
      https://www.fishandboat.com/Fish/PennsylvaniaFishes/PublishingImages/fishID/id_pike.jpg

      Yeah, it’s a kind of perch.

      1. rah

        Addendum
        “Looks like pike don’t have that forward spiky dorsal fin.
        https://www.fishandboat.com/Fish/PennsylvaniaFishes/PublishingImages/fishID/id_pike.jpg
        Yeah, it’s a kind of perch.”

        Big difference and anyone that has cleaned and eaten Walleye and Northern Pike know there is a significant difference in anatomy and taste between the two.

        And yes, it is a wonderful day when you are catching both Walleye and Northern. But the Walleye that fall in the slot size that your going to clean, cook, and eat for shore lunch is what goes in the box. The Northern are caught and released.

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