“I’m a climate pig” – so confesses a climate sinner in a satirical new video clip produced by German public television ZDF. It is a spoof on the whole climate change movement, a parody on the climate religion, and this by an icon of politically correct media, ZDF, no less!
The video is also quite hip – thus targeting the young.
Are the German media now starting to take a satirical view of the whole climate-saving movement? That certainly would be a change of course. But let’s not get our hopes up too much.
The video pokes fun at the feelings of guilt that many people struggle with daily because of their self-perceived CO2 sins, which are simply impossible to avoid in modern living. We all do our best to avoid emitting the climate-killing stuff, but it just can’t be helped! The video starts with a person confessing his climate sins. Dear Father:
– Boiling water: 36 kg of CO2.
– Surfing in the Internet: 391 kg.
– Driving the car: 2 tons!
– Living in an old apartment in Berlin: 3.6 tons
– Holiday flight to New York: 4 tons!
Using this online climate calculator, I reach a total of more than 18 tons per year. But the scientists say I should emit no more than 2 tons per year!
Oh my God, what can I do? Cutting CO2 emissions that drastically would be totally painful. The guilt that’s felt is just unbearable.
But it’s got to be done. There’s no choice, at least so says Regine Günther, Director of Climate Protection and Energy WWF:
If we don’t, then we will be changed, and that in the form of traumatic climate change. And the consequences for people will be much much more painful then you could ever imagine.
Gulp! That’s pretty painful. I myself can imagine some pretty painful things – like root canal treatment without Novocaine. So climate change will be 10 times, no, a thousand times more painful than that? Then we better hurry up and make the brutal sacrifices today. ZDF asks how on earth are we supposed to do get down to just two tons?
Deliver our e-mails by bicycle?
Turn off the heat?
Dear Father, what am I to do? No matter what I do, I commit CO2 sins. Help me!
Norbert Bolz, media theorist, says everywhere there are feelings of guilt, people doing penance by performing acts of offsetting. “People are now praying to Mother Nature, who has taken over for God.”
The clip sarcastically points out that the average person causes 1.24 tons of emissions annually just by default existing, before even taking a breath, and that through government administration, autobahns, and taxation. ZDF asks: “Is there even a chance for me to live a climate-friendly life?”
The movement has become religious and is now even filled with rituals, explains Bolz, citing Germany’s obsession with separating it’s household garbage as a way of being a “good person” and doing penance for our environmental transgressions.
But don’t despair, now private industry allows you to buy offsets, thus allowing you to perform acts without having to feel so guilty. Now that’s service. Pay a little extra for that flight ticket, and bam! Everything is rosy again. Fly guilt-free! A good conscience in exchange for money. ZDF adds satirically:
For singles at COOL.de, there’s also the climate-neutral complete package for only 10 euros a month!” Is that the solution?
Not for WWF High Priest Regine Günther, who warns offsets are not enough:
The only good emissions are the ones that don’t happen. And for the ones that do occur, you have to try to avoid them. And if that isn’t possible, then you have to offset them. But that’s only possible over a transitionary period.”
So only for a little while? All this offset stuff is just temporary, and will have to go before too long. After that it’s going to be all cold cold turkey, and big time. ZDF on Günther’s warning:
I was afraid of that. First I was a waste sinner, and now I’m a climate sinner. Our Father, give me my daily CO2. Forgive me for my trespasses, and deliver me from climate change. Yours is the state, nature and the CO2 budget for eternity. Amen.
I’ll say Amen to that too.