Lazy Couch Potatoes Are The Least Damaging To The Climate Says Max Planck Scientist

It doesn’t matter how one lives, one way or the other you are going to damage the climate, the environment, or something. So in the eyes of the radical environmentalist, the only good human is a dead one.

Low carb living. (Image source:

First they tell us we’re too fat and lazy, and that we need to be more active instead. But now that too turns out to be undesirable because according to a Max Planck Institute scientist, you end up breathing harder, thus emitting more CO2 and making the climate worse as a result. I kid you not!

The scientifically moronic Handelsblatt today here has the latest idiotic piece titled: Climate Killer From The Lungs. A reader asks the Düsseldorf-based financial daily how much CO2 a human emits. Every week the Handelsblatt answers such stupid questions as part of its Klima-Orakel – in an effort inform (lol) its readers on climate change.

To answer that question, the Handelsblatt consults Matthias Heil of the Max Planck Institute for heart and lung research, who says that fit, muscular people breath out more CO2 than unfit people do, and that things get really bad when we become physically active. According to Heil:

During rest, about 4 litres of air pass through the lungs per minute. But that jumps to over 50 litres during physical activity. Over an entire year it comes out to 2100 cubic meters of air, or 168 kg of CO2, when at rest and 25,500 cubic meters of air, or 2040 kg of CO2, when at constant physical activity.”

Of course nobody is physically active constantly over the course of a year (especially me). We could say say that each human breathes out roughly 1/4 ton of CO2 per year, and thus that adds up to a couple billion tons. Heil concludes (emphasis added):

The figures foremost show one thing: Individual lifestyle has an enormous impact on our CO2 emission. From that standpoint, a small non-athletic person who never moves and spends the whole day on the sofa has the optimum climate result.”

Boy, I feel a lot less guilty already. Damn! I’m really doing my part.

Are there any guys out there whose wives would believe this crap? “Sorry honey, but fixing up the house is gonna make me breathe harder and that’s bad for the climate.”

Sounds like a good way to get assaulted by the rolling pin.


7 responses to “Lazy Couch Potatoes Are The Least Damaging To The Climate Says Max Planck Scientist”

  1. John Silver

    I’m a green hero.

  2. Mindert Eiting

    So I do because I only breathe out used tobacco smoke. Today in my newspaper an article about psychology. Daniel Kahneman proposed to redo all experiments about ‘priming’. Why? Because of recent fraud cases and as he said to his colleagues ‘you should recognize the existence of doubts and look them right into their face. To deny them, you undermines your self’. At the end Norbert Schwartz : ‘You can see this as the psychological version of the climate debate’.

  3. Nonoy Oplas

    This is getting more weird, or more silly. No wonder many greenies advocate population control as “more humans mean more destruction of the planet” in their equation.

  4. Bernd Felsche

    Disinfectants probably contribute more to CO2 reduction. 😉

    Millions of CO2-generating bacteria killed with every splash.

  5. DirkH

    The Handelsblatt either gets federal dough for printing this drivel or is acting as a Good German:
    on the page:
    “Das Klima-Orakel erscheint in Zusammenarbeit von Handelsblatt Online und der vom Bundesumweltministerium geförderten Initiative Klima sucht Schutz.”
    “The Climate Oracle appears in collaboration with the initiative “Climate seeks protection” supported by the Federal Environment ministry.”

    That initiative seems to be a tax exempt org that “has received numerous prices” (no surprise there)
    “Die gemeinnützige Beratungsgesellschaft co2online mbH mit Sitz in Berlin ist seit 2004 Projektträger der Klimaschutzkampagne. Eine bunt gemischte Truppe aus Kommunikations-, Ingenieur-, Umwelt- und Wirtschaftsexperten verfolgt ein gemeinsames Ziel: Messbaren Klimaschutz.”

    “A tax exempt consultany in Berlin, exists since 2004,experts for “communications, engineering, environment and economy” has the common goal of quantifiable climate protection” – a bunch of wannabe German Al Gores, in other words.

    They seem to get about two prices a year:
    and for sure, some tax dough and some greenmail money from companies (see under “partners” on their website.

    It’s pretty despicable that the Handelsblatt cooperates with such a propaganda organisation.

    1. DirkH

      Their job offers:
      Currently they look for a trainee and an intern (both probably unpaid) – the typical enviro-pr0paganda cheapskates.

      1. DirkH

        Oh sorry. The trainee will get “adequate compensation”, the intern will get 400 EUR a month (both for 39 hours/week).

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